On Love, In Sadness
by meggie
Summary: Summary: Post X2, Kurt and Ororo, Kurt tells ororo you can't really lose someone...


Oh love it's a brittle madness, I sing about it in all my sadness It's not falsified to say that I found god So inevitably well, It still exists Pale and fine. I can't dismiss  
  
And I won't resist  
  
And if I die  
  
Well at least I tried.  
  
"On Love, In Sadness"-Jason Mraz  
  
He was thinking about her again. He knew that he shouldn't be thinking of her, that he should've been praying to god to forgive him for the sins he had committed in his lifetime. But instead of praying, he sat near his window, gazing over the vast expanse of trees that spread across the mansion's land. The moon hung low in the cloudless, starry sky, casting bright light over everything. Far off to the south, where the sun was highest in the middle of the day, was a small garden. A garden that, Kurt knew, the woman, Ororo Munroe, also called Storm called her haven, a place where she could get away from the heartache of the mansion and be in nature, where nothing but her love and protection was asked for. Watching the small clutch of exotic flowers, their colors vivid from even afar, he soon noticed a slender, tall, dark, exotic, figure moving among them. Her hair fell down her back like a ghostly cascade that seemed to, even from his high vantage point, shimmer in the moonlight. He could tell she was slumped in sadness; her shoulders slung low, her posture not as proud as it usually was. He knew she was still mourning the loss of her best friend and comrade, Jean Grey. Everyone still was. Her death had been a hard hit to everyone. She had served as mother figure to many of the students there, served as the pillar of strength when everything was weak and falling. Although the hardest hit had been Scott, who had, after her death, become something of ghost, wondering the halls at night, seemingly in mourning forever. Logan had mourned as well, but his mourning was not in the form of wondering the halls lifelessly. It was in the form of leaving at night to prowl the pubs, to drink away his pain. He had seen such loss and grief in both their eyes as soon as the fancy lid of her casket, surrounded by flowers of all colors, as varied as the garden storm called her haven, had been closed, and had been lowered in the ground, all the students paying their respect, the misting rain clinging to tear-stained faces. Kurt too, mourned, although he knew her for such a little time.  
  
He watched Ororo disappear further into the garden, and for a moment Kurt wondered if he should follow her. Surely she needed a friend in this time of mourning? But his thoughts, always things of doubt and fear, came in. Perhaps she wants to be alone. He stood then, hesitating as he stared at the garden, bathed in soft moonlight. He took a deep breath, shakily saying a small prayer before the next thought crossed his mind. Maybe.maybe it wouldn't hurt to TRY..  
  
With another deep breath, he disappeared from his room with a BAMF and the signature scent of brimstone and sulfur.  
  
He had made sure he made no sound as he appeared in the gnarled, age loved, limbs of a large, majestic oak tree that graced the entrance of the garden. He wanted to gather his thoughts, gather his nerves before he talked to her. Wanted to make sure he'd say the right thing, and not the stupid thing. He didn't want to make her more upset then she already was.  
  
Finally, dropping gracefully from the tree with an automatic flourishing bow at the end even though he didn't have an audience, he slowly started towards where he saw Storm disappear too, slightly admiring the flowers as he went. His tail, as he moved, flicked back and forth in thought. As he came closer, he slowed even more, and then stopped in his tracks. His keen pointed ears heard a crying noise, almost a sobbing, soft and as undetectable as the far away cry of a bird in the morning mist. He felt a stab of pain in his heart at this sound. Starting towards her once more, he soon came to where she rested, slumped on a garden bench. She was sobbing into her hands, nakedly, like a small child who had just woken from a bad nightmare to find herself alone and lonely.  
  
He stood there for a long moment; unable to speak his heart so broken. He stood there until the weather goddess noticed his presence standing there, his crouched indigo figure bathed in moonlight. She startled a little at his sudden appearance, her sobbing coming to an abrupt halt, which made Kurt feel guilty for even being there in the first place.  
  
".. Kurt" She said softly, and looked down to her hands, which were wrung together She seemed unable to meet his honey eyed gaze, ashamed of being caught in such a weakened state when she was known as, usually, a emotionally strong woman, the calm collected one. "What are you doing here?" She finally looked up to him, wiping her eyes slightly, still looking ashamed at being caught crying.  
  
"Guten Abend Ororo" He said softly, in his thick German accent. He ducked his head guiltily; knowing that finding her here was most likely a grievous intrusion. "And, forgive me for dropping on you, I saw you from my vindow and I thought you could use some company Perhaps I can come back another time?" There was a slight pause in which he sat down next to her anyways; awaiting her answer with mixed hope that she would allow his company and knowledge she was almost certainly going to cast him away. He had so rude to intrude on her mourning! He glanced upon her, upon her tearstained chocolate colored face, and once more his heart broke to see her in such a state. He knew, by how the easily the tears had flowed down her cheeks, that she had held it all in, had bottled it all up until it had all become much to much to handle, and she had simply broke like a dam under pressure. Off in the distance, the dark sky was briefly illuminated by a rogue lightning strike, a telltale sign of the white haired mutant's distress and sadness.  
  
"No, Kurt. It's quite alright" Her voice seemed hoarse from her crying, much softer then its usual throaty soprano quality. "You can stay. I think I'll be fine. Infact.I'm glad you came. I need a friend right now" She wiped away tears. "I think I'll be fine.." She repeated more to herself then to her demon like companion. Once more, a lightning strike lighted the sky, and even a rumble of thunder was heard, low and threatening.  
  
It's Always just a friend and never.Kurt's ended his thoughts before they could finish. He managed a small smile, his fangs showing slightly, harshly white against his indigo skin. "Thank you, Storm." Kurt said quietly, and tentively reached over, brushing a tear away, his hand staying on her cheek for a few moments. "And your tears and the thunder in the distance say different, Der liebste Freund" He said quietly. He knew she was trying to be stronger then she really was. For what reason he couldn't guess. Nor would he ever, even if he searched for it all his life. He thought, perhaps. She was being strong for the children, for the adults, for herself, to make sure she didn't loose herself in the ocean of grief she was lost in. That she knew her former best friend would be the same way in a situation like this. At this thought, a prayer came to mind, a prayer for people in the midst of loss. "God is our refuge," he began, quietly, slowly, forcing himself to meet storm's curious brown-eyed gaze as it landed on him. "A very present help in trouble. Therefore we shall not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea.." There was a brief pause in his words. "Psalm 46:1-2"  
  
Ororo was quiet for a long moment, and then looked up to Kurt, a slight smile breaking over her once sad features. It seemed, to Kurt, like the sun peeking out from behind grey clouds. ".. Those are very comforting, words, Kurt" she said softly, leaning against him slightly, her hand finding his. She noticed the stark contrast between her cocoa skin and his dark indigo skin, almost like a living shadow because of the night surrounding night around them, which reminded her of the sky above the African planes of her childhood. How her skin felt soft and smooth.. while his felt rough from the tattoos he had carved into his skin. One for every sin She remembered him telling her on the plane coming back from Boston, remembering how his dark full lip quirked into a smile that could've been considered roguish. So there are quite a few. She remembered him telling her that someone with so much beauty shouldn't be so angry.and how she had told him that anger sometimes helped survived. So Can Faith he had advised her in his gentle voice, and from that moment on she knew, although she had known little of faith, that she had faith in HIM. After this thought She suddenly realized, looking to their clutched hands, that it wasn't his words that made her comforted, but it was his presence alone, the aura of peace he had around him, that made her feel safe. "But I have to be honest with you. I.. I don't believe in god"  
  
Kurt (who wasn't shocked at this new bit of information-he had figured as much) was quiet for a long moment as well. Weather it was because he was thinking, or weather he was trying to realize and let it fully sink into his brain that him and Ororo were holding hands, was unknown to either party. He then finally looked down at the white haired goddess. "Then Vhat do you have faith in, Ororo?" he inquired softly. He once more forced his gaze to meet Ororo's, as much as he wanted to stare at his tail, which was currently resting on the ground, restlessly twitching.  
  
Ororo shrugged lightly. "I believe in.." There was a pause in her words as she took a moment to think about it, although she already knew the answer. "I have faith in my strength as a woman, Kurt. In my own power and energy." She smiled a little here, but then continued on, her voice even softer. "But I also have, even above that; I have faith in my friends. I draw strength from them in times of sorrow, and I offer them what I can.. I make an example, and give them advice they will need later on in life." She smiled a little at this, although the sadness in her features returned, fresh tears glistening in her eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks.  
  
Kurt nodded in understanding, and then said, ".You had much faith in her, didn't you, Ororo?" He paused a moment, and the clarified himself. "Doktor grey." He knew he shouldn'tve pried, should've wondered into another subject, but he knew that talking about things of this nature sometimes made one feel better. Plus, he was genually curious.  
  
Ororo smiled sadly. "I had much faith in her" she quietly. "She was a strong woman-much stronger then I could've ever been-and A good friend She meant many things to many people." She sighed sadly. "She shall be missed greatly for a long time" She sighed, and then softly added. "Expressly by me." Tears began to stream down her cheeks again, and she once more choked back sobs. She suddenly remembered all the times she had had with jean-all the talks they had, some trivial, such as the bad classes they had had that day, storm's constant battle with the young man named john Allerdyce (The paper with the tally of how many times she had taken his lighter-started by jean herself-was still on the corkboard in her lofty room. She hadn't had the heart to move it) some important. Some not important, such as her and Scott's relationship, the hard and good times, and how jean had promised her that she'd be one of her brides maids at her wedding, when Scott finally managed to propose. Those happy days seemed so far away now, and she now realized she hadn't treasured them like she should've. But back then, she hadn't known things would've worked out the way they did.that she would so unselfishly give her life to safe all of theirs.  
  
Kurt both of her hands into his three fingered ones, and turned towards her. "Listen to me, Ororo" He softly commanded to the white haired mutant. "Even if Doktor grey is gone.. she's not gone completely." As Ororo gazed up at him, he smiled almost tenderly. "As long as you remember her-all the good and bad-she'll live on.." He slowly placed a hand to her chest, where her heart was. "She'll always be there, Ororo, watching over the children.." He faintly smiled, but then got serious as the sad and grieved look on her face grew more intense. "You couldn'tve done anything, Ororo." he said softly. "You know that.in the end, she vanted nothing more then to save you all.. none of it was your doing" He smiled warmly at her, and wiped at a stray tear. "She forgives you, and understands.She still has faith in you, Ororo.and so do I"  
  
Without even thinking, Ororo threw her arms around Kurt's neck, which caused him to teeter on the bench. She didn't know why, but his words were comforting, and gave her a new hope that the future wouldn't turn out to be so bleak. She gently kissed his cheek, loving its warmth. "Thank you, Kurt," she whispered, smiling even though tears fell still. "Thank you for everything.. and being my friend"  
  
Kurt, still taken aback by Ororo's sudden attack of affection, softly petted her back, smiling a little as she unlatched her arms from his neck. "Ja." He said softly. "Denken Sie nichts davon" He chuckled. "Think nothing of it" He then noticed that a breeze had swept down the garden and to the area they were occupying. Standing, he offered his arm to Ororo, who stood as well. "Come, Ororo" he said smiling a little. "Tonight's a night for hot cocoa.. and remembering good things."  
  
Chuckling, Ororo smiled and took his arm, and soon they were walking towards the twinkling lights of the mansion. 


End file.
